Theological Crisis

When I was in High School, one of my science teachers told me a story: There once was a man whose house was about to be flooded. When he heard about the evacuation order, he said to himself, "God will provide." Later, when he was the last person in his neighborhood, an emergency worker drove up and asked him to leave. The emergency worker offered him a ride and the man replied, "God will provide." Later, the flood waters started to rise and the man had to climb on top of his house. A boat of emergency workers saw the man and offered assistance. The man declined again saying, "God will provide." The flood continued to rise until water was splashing on the roof. An emergency helicopter noticed him and offered to pick him up and he declined again, saying "God will provide." Eventually the man drowned. When he had the opportunity, he asked God, "why didn't you provide? You let me die!" God responded, "I provided you with a warning, with a ride, with a boat, and with a helicopter."

If you haven't guessed yet, my crisis has to do with the dichotomy of faith and wisdom.

This May, I graduated from seminary. It was a great experience both spiritually and educationally. It was a trying time, but I feel like I am much wiser and more prepared for ministry than when I started. One of the things that became a deep conviction over the last few years is God's special heart for the poor and the oppressed. Throughout the Bible, God chose to work through the least powerful to demonstrate the supreme power of the universe. Abraham was a nobody, David was a shepherd (very low class job), and Jesus was a carpenter. Paul recalls the resurrected Lord's words like this, "My power is perfected in weakness." (2 Co 12:9) This isn't just a spiritual weakness that God demonstrates Godself, but actual literal and physical weakness. Luke recalls Jesus saying "Blessed are the poor..." (Luke 6:20) It is our identification with Christ and Christ's weakness that allows the power of God to work in our lives, in my life.

Now that I have graduated, I am faced with bills that I honestly don't know how I'm going to pay. According to one online calculator, I should make in the neighborhood of $120,000 a year. (I can't find the link just now, but I've found it on more than one occasion) I have created a minimal budget that I could pay back the loans in ten years with a salary of $35,000. I probably would have to do without a lot of extras, but I think we could get by.

Now, I'm looking at a church that has a tremendous need. They are offering a salary at a great sacrifice, but the salary is a meager $12,000. My theological sensibilities says, "follow in the footsteps of Christ, God will provide." The other part of me that I hope is wisdom speaking says, "the reality is, you have bills. You are no good to anyone if you can't pay your bills. If you didn't have debt, you could afford to be poor, but that isn't going to happen for a while."

There are a few other considerations, such as experience in my field vs. not working in my field, but the crux of the matter is, am I lacking faith that God will provide or has God provided me with a brain? Do I really believe all that stuff about God's special heart for the poor or am I being sentimental? By seeking out wealth, am I seeking out my reward in full?